YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
