I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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