It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
