summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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