i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
