i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
