Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
