People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
