I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I would fuck him just for his dog
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
