Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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