Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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