Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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