Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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