bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
