Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
