My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
