i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
