Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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