Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
