my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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