Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So squirting runs in the family.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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