I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im drinking this country out of the recession.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
