The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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