I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
