theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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