But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
