Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
