Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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