butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
