It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Acid is not a monday night drug
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
