hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
