I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
