are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
