What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
