I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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