Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
3 2 1 whiskey
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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