you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
