This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I want is dick and wine.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
