he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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