So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
