Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
