I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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