You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
