I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
