I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
