I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
