White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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