yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
