Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
