"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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