My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
