Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
