Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
