it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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